10 Celebs I’d Pay To See In A Pr0n Film!


Let’s face it, the pr0n industry is getting shafted. Gone are the days when you sent off a large cheque for a sketchy VHS tape wrapped in brown paper, to be deposited anonymously in your mailbox 3 months later. Even in today’s DVD industry there seems little point in paying for pr0n when, in two mouse-clicks, you can get anything from Google videos for free! So, it begs the question, what would you pay to watch?

Midgets…Nope, been there, done that! – Farm animals…Uh-uh, such poor acting skillz! Midget farm animals dressed as internet memes? H’mmmm, maybe. Purely in the name of research you understand. Celebrities…? OH HELL YESSS!!!!

So there you have it, and if you give it some thought I’m sure you could come up with a very juicy top 10 list of cute celebs that would make you open your wallet and part with mom and dad’s hard-earned cash. In fact you’ve probably thought up that list already. But that can come later, for now here’s my ALL TIME top 10 list (in no particular order) of celebs I’d like to see getting tag-teamed by well-hung stallions, or gang-banged by desperate actors hungry for fame and money.

For these gals I’d gladly pay top dollar to watch them do the nasty on my 72″ plasma anytime! Providing, of course, they don’t leak a sex tape in the meantime.

Lindsay Lohan
Well you would, wouldn’t you? I’m surprised this wild child hasn’t got something hidden in the closet already that she did when she was wasted. We can only live in hope. Anyway, who could resist shouting the cry of ‘Fire in the hole!’ when she got down to business?

Rachel Weisz
OK, so this is a personal fave of mine, but don’t knock the idea of a posh Brit chick with a seriously cute English accent bumping uglies while her face contorts in pleasure. Just imagine the scene, a nice cup of tea and superb ‘cucumber’ sandwich…and of course I would demand she scream for her ‘Mummy’ not once, but twice!

For some strange reason I have a strong urge to see her perform one of her songs while someone else is performing on her.

Jennifer Aniston
There’s definitely something about our Jen, something innocent, sweet and lovely that makes you feel the world is a good place. So I would insist that some hardcore bondage and 2 girls 1 cup scenarios be incorporated in her offering.

Hayden Panettiere
I don’t care about the plot, it just has to start with her wearing a cheerleader outfit and then seeing if she really is indestructible.

Megan Fox
Storyline: Megan is driving in some remote spot, car breaks down, she opens the hood and gets her hands all over what lies inside in an effort to bring it back to life. Then it transforms into a giant phallus and demands a lube-job!

Emma Watson
She’s cute…BUT…I’d like to see her punished for every Harry Potter film ever made. Preferably with a purple wand. Or a broomstick…

Jessica Alba
There’s a look about her that makes me think if she never made it in Hollywood she would have probably been a star in this industry. Well Jess, let me just say there’s still time. Do it for your fans.

Britney Spears
Let’s face it, we’ve seen her in everything else, so why not this? My only stipulation would be that her voice be dubbed into…well, anything other than her voice. She’s already a pro at lip-syncing, and a pro a lot else as well no doubt.

Julie Christie
Time to go old-skool. Thank god I did film studies in college otherwise I would never have watched Dr Zhivago and seen this vision appear on the screen. I’m guessing this would be a digitally remastered re-release of some classic 70s pr0n-funk! Or perhaps if we could just get the extended outtakes from that scene with Donald Sutherland in Don’t Look Now?

OK, so that’s my list, hope you enjoyed it. I’d be interested to know who you’d like to see in your fantasy celeb skin-flick.

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