Finally, it’s here. The tale of a crack-smoking, blood-lusting, crazed raccoon that preys on the residents of the Bronx neighborhood of Locust Point. Forget Citizen Kane, forget Casablanca, forget The Godfather, this movie right here is the greatest movie ever. Maybe. Possibly. Sort of.

It’s like the whole intertubes has been condensed down into a minute and a bits worth of footage, a world-wide-web singluarity. Cats, weirdos, Asians, nutshot, chicks, general WTFness that makes you wonder if you’re not just caught inside a crazy man’s fevered dreams, or somewhere in Goatse’s black hole. Is this real life, am i [...]

You may think the Lord of the Sith is an evil fucker; getting his kicks out of torturing his only son, slaying his old buddy, enslaving the inhabitants of the galaxy and destroying people’s home planets like it was an exploding cracker. Well you know what, he’s also pretty ticklish. And he’s kinda cute when [...]

This elaborate and inventive mini-roller coaster ride-of-death is a terrifying ordeal, if you happen to be a Samsung memory card. The question to ask here is, what can’t this tough-as-a-terminator SD card take on? Hammers, boxing gloves, a military attack (by toys), creepy dolls with fork hands, a car wash, magnets, fire, water, rabid dogs [...]

There’s nothing like hitting the highway in your Yamaha R1 and tearing it up, endangering every single vehicle that you precariously zoom by – especially if you’re in Moscow, they love it. Hell, the authorities actively encourage it; if you haven’t decapitated an old lady with your front wheel by the time you’re 21 you [...]

It comes to something when nerds make you feel seriously uncomfortable talking about sex-ed! Like you need to be taught about it, you filthy degenerates. But just in case you do, and even for the odd scat muncher amongst you, you’ll enjoy these two studs chomping down on a cocoa-shunted pink banana. Deee-licious. They could [...]

We all like adding fuel to the Internet Hate Machine, helping it turn on its seething axis. It helps us feel better about our pathetic shitty lives. Yeah, you scumbags, look at your dribble-ridden slimy chins yapping away like a flaccid octogenarian penis. So come on, add your hateful comments below you bunch of sperm-munching, [...]

Freddie Wong, hardest working man on the internet. He’s back with a new video, man he must shit them out *plop!* there’s another one *plop!* and another. Not that they’re crap, and this one has a smoking hot chick in it as well, the chick from the new 90210 which makes looking at Freddie’s gormless [...]

A soul made from the tears of clowns and the pain of life lived in a dumpster. This man has no soul, he just has the hate of mankind resting on his muscular shoulders. Some of us live in the gutter but look to the stars, others live in the stars and look to the [...]

This is a neat trick, providing you don’t fuck it up like he does. And the great news is, you can try it with your boss as well. Tell him you’re in the “other” office, you know, the one down town. Then video call him to add that bit of authenticity. Then sit back and [...]

If the Internet ever runs out of morons who are willing to self-destruct because they’re a bored witless from living out in the sticks, then it will be a terrible day for all of us far superior people who know how to read and wipe our assholes and shit. Luckily it looks like we still [...]

Ooooh yeah…..”No Homo”. Just because you like looking at men’s bodies while down the gym, and feel funny sensations in your pants, doesn’t mean you’re gay. Just because you have a bangs that makes you look like a teenage goth, doesn’t mean you’re an uphill gardener. Hey, the sight of men’s nipples is OK to [...]

Ah, a foaming vagina. Of course! An ancient deadly ninja art that sadly has long passed from human knowledge. It’s not the most rapid of moves and it requires the ninja to be of the female persuasion, but it’s deadly nonetheless!? It’s time it was brought back, with a vengeance. It wouldn’t be such a [...]

To boldly go where no zombie has gone before – Star Trek zombies? Illogical maybe but guided by the power of awesome. As sci-fi/horror crossovers go this could only be improved if it had a scene where Seven of Nine is clam-jousting with Rose McGowan (a leg-over), while Justin Bieber is savaged by Teen Wolf [...]

You see them everywhere, wide eyed crazy guys running around in pink shoes, jabbering away to themselves and shouting out random numbers. So picture that, and then imagine someone’s given one particularly twatty-twat chap a megaphone and permission to approach harmless female strangers in busy London town. Right – now you’re up to date. Funnily [...]

“That’s me in the muthafucking corner. Yeah. Fuck-it-fuck-it.” And so on. Michael Stipe could learn a few tricks from this foul-mouthed bearded goon (who bears more than a passing resemblance to Russel Crowe). Like how to get those tics just right, spasming in time with your vocal delivery. However, my one critique would be it [...]

Grab you American Apparel New Wave flip flops, put some scrambled egg in your cafe latte, undershave your nutsack, squeeze into some skinny trousers made from the nose hair of an obscure hilly billy grimecore metal act that no one’s ever heard of, put on some spectacles the size of your face, and wear a [...]

After watching Hit Girl in Kick-Ass I lie awake at night & worry that every little girl in pig tails is gonna suddenly freeze frame, get a manic glint in her eye, before swearing like a sailor who’s been refused shore leave and start attacking everyone in the room like a midget ninja from planet [...]

This guy has no shame. Not only is he caught filming a young girl’s crotch while she does stretch exercises in public, but then he’s climbs aboard the good ship righteous indignation because his like civil liberties are being eroded before his very pervy pedo-eyes, causing even more public moral outrage, and the throwing about [...]

Puppets and their masters, always a little strange, something unnerving about a puppet’s creepy mouth moving, an inhuman automaton yapping away. But in this particular case I envy this puppet. The woman’s hot, you could do worse than having her hand stuffed up your backside. Is there something kinky going on? We can only hope [...]