Faith made America strong–according to the Fascist mind of Rick Perry–and Rick Perry’s here to make it weak. As weak as his idiotic mind that hearts religion but lacks tolerance. Surely, somewhere in those doctrines there’s something about turning the other cheek (doesn’t matter where that cheek is on the body) and embracing your fellow man and woman. Maybe that’s Rick’s problem, he wants to embrace men and, so, just like when you really fancy someone at school, you act like you hate them, Rick’s doing that with gays. Basically Rick Perry’s a homosexual. The end.

Here’s the original ‘inferior’, official video. For some strange reason they have disabled comments!? (check out the likes/dislikes)

Yeah, so this denim may be produced in exotic climes by small hands who work for less than $5 a decade but they look super fine on this hot chick’s sweet ass. That way she can distract us from the fact that the clothes are made unethically because beautiful people make everything OK.

Detroit, it’s a place famous for a few things, but mostly for producing plenty of automobiles and also that guy who starred in that movie, 8 Mile. And while Mr Marshall Bruce Mathers III and the Motor City have both had to endure their fair share of hardships and upsets, it didn’t stop them from climbing to the very top of their game. In fact, it helped.

So the latest installment of pretend war (is hell) is out today and video gamers the world over are creaming in their sweat pants at the thought of getting their clammy hands on it. Maybe you’ve queued up all night to get your hands on a copy. Now it’s time to head home to mum’s basement, dress up in your camo gear and start shooting pixellated enemies. The game might not live up to the hype but this is just a little bit ’special’ ladies & gentlemen. Enjoy.

Well, I don’t know about you but it’s adverts like this that can convince me to buy absolutely anything. They could be selling garbage bags dusted with dried pig shit and I’d be down the store ordering twenty of them before you could say the word gullible’s been removed from the English language.

The greatest ad man of them all who could sell ice to the eskimos delivers a presentation on the new Facebook layout. And if Don thinks it’s the biz then, by God, it must be the biz. So stop moaning about it like a baby and deal with the matter. Who knew that Kodak ripped off Facebook with the Kodak Carousel?

If there’s one question that’s balancing in restless anticipation on the very tip of everyone’s tongues it’s: What next for reality TV? Well, you’ll be glad to know it involves killer dolphins, bimbos, drag queens, space, love, hate, weight loss, and a bunch of other crazy stuff that will blow your skull wide open. The only thing missing is celebrity zombies and Simon Cowell being sexually ravaged by horny cetaceans.

All you social media gurus out there would do well to watch this video. Again. And again. Maybe take some notes too, because these guys totally owned when it came to sorting out an 8-year-old girl’s birthday party. They had a strategy, let hype build organically, and targeted the right people. Her friends. And then there was one final flourish, a moment of genius. A moment of history. Now make Steven Fry proud and dump those comments bro’!

What would you do if you’re in a store and a robbery took place? Probably shit yourself and start blubbering for your life. Fortunately you don’t need to answer that question, instead answer this: Who would you want to be your vigilante saviour? A nerd, a fat karate chump, or hot chick. Got to be the hot chick, no? Preferably in leather hot pants and not much else.

Are you ready for some octogenarian eye candy? Just remember, you are never too old to be a hawtie and appeal to the opposite sex, whatever is going on ‘down there!’ Shot in a real-life hernia hospital (sexy!), it teaches us all how to love. And some science for the inner-nerd in all of us – RESULT!