NO, they are not 2 webcam wannabes shaking their thang. If you’ve never heard the two words above, then where have you been all week? Both these acts that threaten the freedoms of the online world with their lameness have had bad press this week, thanks in no small part to thousands of websites going dark in protest against them. But if you’re still a little unclear as to what these beasts will do to our internets, this video will help explain it.

OK, so your gag reflex is going to get a good old workout watching this gross-out fest. The story goes that this guy had some surgery on his nose and then went back to the ENT (otolaryngologist) to get it cleaned out and decided to film it and make us all puke. Make sure you’re eating breakfast and all your work colleagues are gathered round you eating there’s too when watching. Spew-tastic.

If you’ve got zombies and guns in a movie, it doesn’t matter what the story is, it’s going to entertain most people. It could be a romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock as a single mom who has to write an email to her friend, but as long as zombies come in after a few minutes and Sandra Bullock whips out a magnum and starts blowing undead skulls to smithereens everyone’ll be lapping it up. Oh yeah, back to this…it’s pretty awesome!

WARNING: This girl is strange, if you see her. RUN! Yep, this is one of those weird parts of the interwebs, where the less uninhibited of society are able to simply film themselves doing all sorts of inane, nonsensical acts whilst singing Leona Lewis songs (’Keep Bleeding My Ears’), this time with sanitary towels and ketchup, and share it with the world. And our dutiful response is to look at it and go “WTF?! Thiz gurlz is the insanes?” And words to that effect. After watching this we need to all make a promise to never darken the internet’s virtual doorstep again. But we wont.

This is one way to impress the ladies, ask them back to your place for some shots of homeopathic bleach to wash down that delicious meal you had. Once you pose the question of drinking some of this intoxicating brew she’ll be like putty in your hands. Most probably because she’ll have some kind of strange reaction to your concoction and her nervous system will go into meltdown…..Or it could be the cool Zelda music?

While this man was breaking world records and elevating the human race to the level of godhood, what were you doing? Watching South Park online? Again? The world needs more valiant people like this courageous and skilled individual, shoving 18 quarters up his nose in the name of… something. That’s progress.

Just eating a giant poisonous insect, no biggie. Once EpicMealTime threw the gauntlet down when it came to calorific heart-exploding concoctions, YouTubers had to take it the the next level. So that means eating a live scorpion, shovelling it in your gob like it was a piece of tooled up spaghetti. Er… nom?

There are a lot of world championships out there, but none can quite match the skill and dedication displayed by this bastions of Olympian ideals and sportsmanship. These guys are an inspiration to every human being alive, all those years spent inanely picking your nose while bored in class, for these guys it’s paid off. Humbling.

Unfortunately this tale of the world’s most wanted terrorist rising from his watery grave to reap unholy revenge on the world is not a real trailer but instead is an entry in a French film contest. Which is a crying shame as this would be the greatest b-movie since Sharktopus. Bin Laden is dead-good.

Barf cup likes to barf. Its sole purpose on this earth is to constantly spew. And spew. And spew. So it’s like you after a heavy night out on the tiles, when you’ve eaten some monstrosity that barely warrants the name food and all that’s left to do is to empty the contents of your stomach. Bleurgh!