Bud Mouse

Pets are OK, but they tend to be a bit stupid and needy. What you need is an animal friend – a little critter who’s on your wavelength and who hangs out and keeps you company, cracks a beer, shares a joke, watches sports and makes filthy sexual comments about female acquaintances behind their backs. Just don’t tell anyone about your little pal. At best they’ll kick the shit out of you for being a weirdo, at best they’ll lock you away.

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