Wherein a hedgehog discovers the hedgehog equivalent of a blow-up doll. This hedgehog is obviously far less stupid than most hedgehogs. Whereas most hedgehogs just get run over by trucks, this hedgehog has got itself a well paid lead in an ad. But more importantly it has figured out something that we humans for the most part haven’t: that sex with an inanimate object is a good idea. Inanimate objects don’t yell, don’t take over your life, don’t stop you gambling and staying out late and coming home drunk and don’t suddenly present you with children and demand you look after them, as if somehow it’s your problem. Plus, if you want to sodomise an inanimate object brutally, it won’t complain for a minute.

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