Entries from June 2010

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Show Me The MONEY!!!!

No doubt you have so much talent you’re overwhelmed by it, leaving you an inert slob stagnating in front of a computer screen. Well it’s time to stand proud and show the world the creative slob you really are. If you can juggle rice while playing the banjo with your teeth, the world needs to [...]

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Out of Time

I’ve always thought free running was a bit gay, you know? A bunch of guys running about the streets jumping off buildings and hanging around kids’ playgrounds when they should probably be looking for a job or something. But I was wrong, as this video proves. Forgive me.

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Care Bears: Back in Action

I knew those cutesy candy-colored bears had a dark side. I’d definitely go watch this if it ever got made. I’m thinking Martin Scorsese or Abel Ferrara to direct. I want to see bloodletting, decapitation, mutilation, psychologically damaged Care Bears snorting coke, injecting drugs into their eyeballs and going on some kind of cathartic journey [...]

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Kanye West – Can’t Tell Me Nothing (Zach Galifianakis Version)

Listen up yo, we’re all a bunch of gay fish swimming in an ocean of ass compared to Zach. Just listening to the power behind his voice, the emotions running through him, it’s incredible. You can tell he means every word, you can feel his pain, it’s almost tangible. But don’t cry for him, because [...]

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

RSA Animate – The Secret Powers of Time

It’s time for some edumacanimation, and it’s about time. That’s right, the subject is time and how we perceive it. It basically amounts to we are slaves to the trappings of time, and so produce our warped view of the world. I blame school for making us conform and destroying our sense of immortality. When [...]

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Kubrick vs Scorsese

There’s SO much awesome here it’s almost impossible for a mere mortal to comprehend – Two of the greatest directors EVAR are edited together with great skill by the talented Leandro Copperfield to create a montage of masterful cinema. Great stuff, now how about Ed Wood vs Uwe Boll?

Monday, June 21st, 2010

Banned iPad Promo

No more paper cuts, no more clunky laptop, no more USB, no more camera, no more Flash, no more money because your obsession begins and you must have every new upgrade Apple bring out every two months keeping you hooked like a junkie, addicted to its glossy touch screen possibilities. It’s like crack, but much [...]

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Gandalf Goes to the World Cup

If there’s one thing more annoying than Sam ‘Fucktard’ Gamgee, it’s those fucking vuvuzelas. Even Middle Earth isn’t safe from their incessant bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. One Noise to rule them all, One Noise to find them, One Noise to bring them all and in the darkness bind them, In the Land of South Africa where the Vuvuzelas [...]

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Major Lazer “Pon De Floor” ft. VYBZ

Lazer! Lazer! Lazer! I believe this dance move is called daggering, and it’s sweeping the nation, all the hep cats are grooving to it. So grab your partner by the waist and aggressively thrust your loin at them until one of you breaks a pelvic bone. That, my friends, is how one rolls. Jamaica? Nah, [...]

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Are Teens Practicing Shamanism?

What could those strange peace pipes & other weird paraphernalia mean? It must be Shamanism, the only belief system worse than communism. If smoke constantly wafts from your child’s bedroom, smoke that has a funny smell, & they look all glassy eyed and mumble a lot, then they’re probably traversing the astral planes while killing [...]

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

Hessian Hobbies FTW!

So your kid’s bored and you’re a Heavy Metal dad who can rock out and bite the heads off bats with the best of them. What to do? Play air guitar while tearing up the living room? Sacrifice a small mammal to Odin? Teach them an epic drum solo? Or maybe show them how to [...]

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Jackie Chan HATES Karate Kids!

Thank the tentacle-armed ninja god of death that Jackie aka the High-kick of Reason has spoken out against what can only be described as a crime against humanity: Little kids doing karate in movies. Jackie pits violence against a semblance of violence and kicks the crap out of those little bastards. Go Jackie!