Do deaf people masturbate too much? It’s probably not something you think about that often, but Jehovah’s Witnesses do nothing but think about it. Mainly because they are selfless individuals whose sole purpose in life (and beyond) is to help others stop touching themselves. So they brought out a video using sign language (lots of hand gestures you’ll know only too well) to tell them to stop with the self love already. So kind.

But, the internet being the internet it wasn’t going to let this one slide, so it proceeded to improve the original, silent video—namely by putting Fiddy’s classic party track “In Da Club” over the top. And now it’s much better, thanks.

Of course, if something can be remixed once then it can be remixed endlessly, so goes the unwritten laws of the web. So if Fiddy isn’t your thing try some dubstep, below, which works rather brilliantly.

If dubstep is a little manic for you, then for a more chill vibe try out some laidback 90s hip hop in the form of Salt-N-Pepa’s Shoop. Remember to wave your hands in the air for this one. Keeps them occupied and out of trouble.

And, finally, the sleuths of the internet dug up the little beauty below, which purports to reveal some missing footage from the Jehovah’s Witness video. As we all know the internet never ever lies it must be true, although it does give off some conflicting messages.

Conclusion: This whole situation could do with being more meta, so how about a bunch of deaf people make a video telling Jehovah’s Witnesses to stop telling deaf people to stop masturbating. While masturbating. And get Fiddy to star in it.

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