Here you go, a massive scrap between rival Ukranian soccer fans, 120 sluggers from FC CSKA Kiev versus 150 bruisers from some Dynamo Kiev, to find out which team has the toughest fans? The result is a particularly epic scrap that puts Brad Pitt and Edward Norton to shame and is a totally pleasant way [...]

His mom gives him the nod, “The camera’s pointing at you son”. And that’s it, he’s off owning his 15 minutes of glory busting strange karate type moves up and down the steps, high-fiving, diving, ducking. It’s like someone’s shoved a firework up his ass and watched him go. This is as close to spontaneous [...]

A terrifying new fashion movement is sweeping the United kingdom calling itself the ‘Evisu Defence League’. They have been splitting communities up and down the country with their extreme and offensive ideas on fashion – It consists of Reebok Classics, Evisu jeans, Stone Island jackets & Lonsdale hoodies – if you have that combination of [...]

If there’s one thing more annoying than Sam ‘Fucktard’ Gamgee, it’s those fucking vuvuzelas. Even Middle Earth isn’t safe from their incessant bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. One Noise to rule them all, One Noise to find them, One Noise to bring them all and in the darkness bind them, In the Land of South Africa where the Vuvuzelas [...]

Win Sh#t Loads of Stuff!!! A little thing called the 2010 FIFA World Cup is on the way, you may’ve heard of it. Which basically means you’re going to be getting wasted and watching football every day from 11 June for a whole month. A terrible business, but someone’s got to do it. So [...]

What a difference a goal makes. All the big names of the game are here, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba and…Homer Simpson. And it also features a ginger beard, courtesy of a failed trailer trash Rooney. It’s probably the only advert some people cream their pants over. It’s directed by Alejandro Iñárritu who directed [...]

Now this is the sort of sport I could really get into, I don’t want to see grown men kicking an evolved pig’s bladder about a field while they dive and prance about like a bunch of ballerinas. Who gives a shit? I want to see gorgeous women shaking their soccer balls. Goal!

If this guy was the goalie on your team you’d probably want to kill him. Taking unnecessary risks for the hell of it is funny if you’re an unsupervised child or blind old person. The possible outcomes of severe maiming or death are all art of life’s rich tapestry. However taking risks with the scoreline [...]

If you don’t like football then don’t bother. If you do like football, then no doubt you will be delighted by the classic sight of Giggsy beating the entire Arsenal squad and single handedly condemning them to 2 seasons out in the cold. Or better still Garrard’s genius!

Hey America – WAKE UP! You guys are doing well in the World Cup. You’ve beaten Portugal and drawn to South Korea and could well go through to the knock-out stages. And most of you don’t care, probably don’t even know what I’m talking about. This football the game that counts, not your parochial nonsense [...]

A first rate ad, containing a salutory tale for anyone who has walked into a room to find someone having a good old wank. Or at least that’s what it looks like. And of course you jump to conclusions, make wild accusations, and refuse to listen to whatever excuse is proffered. For instance, that WAS [...]

It’s the Rugby World Cup at the moment which is a huge deal for some people, and a complete non-event to everyone else. Except that England might [...]

Presumably this ad was made for TV – it hasn’t been aired yet, making it a bit of a first. All you Americans won’t have a clue who this guy is, which is a strange thought because he is possibly the best known man in the UK. He’s a football player (the real kind) and [...]

Revealing what product this ad is advertising kind of gives the game away, which would be a pity as it’s pretty funny.
An interesting side issue is the nature of the two protagonists: young babe and rich old fart. One of greatest things about being male is the knowledge that, having shagged 19 year old fuck-bunnies [...]

It’s the World Cup. It takes place once every four years, and lasts for a month. That’s one forthy-eighth of your life. So all those moaning fuckers who don’t like it, shut the fuck up and let the rest of us enjoy ourselves. Please.

A classic British ad which explodes the ludicrous myth we have all somehow bought in to that smoking is a dangerous, filthy habit, and that therefore professional sportsmen eschew it. This is clearly bollocks, as evidenced by all those tabacco hoardings you see outside schools, which prove indisputably that people who smoke are happy, active, [...]