All those shitty pop hits that come steaming out of the hit factory like a turd falling from the sky and landing in your piano-shaped swimming pool. You could do better, right? That’s the reasoning behind this guy and his musician mate Dan Bennett aka Transit’s task to create a pop hit in under 8 hours. It’s pretty long for limited attention spans destroyed by the internet, so skip to 6:05 for the result.
NASA might be able to put a man on the moon, but they haven’t launched a DIY weather balloon full of 200 paper planes into space yet, carrying messages from the world’s populace on hardcore SD Memory Cards, to the edge of the earth’s atmosphere–36,500 metres up–and paper-bombed Germany with them. That’s innovation!
And so. The great rap battle of pale white kids 2011 begins. (Pale kid raps ‘fast’ was SO yesterday!) It’ll go down in history as a time of such cultural richness, of such fertile artistic abundance that the Italian Renaissance will be a barely remembered footnote to it. Paler. Faster. Gayer.
Here’s something to try today, take bets with your co-workers as to how long they can listen to this on repeat in a single sitting. If they go over 3 minutes then they are king/queen of the internets. This is what the Golden Globes is all about; crazy laughter, Brendan Fraser clapping like Errol Flynn’s libido and Tarantino fist-pumping while sat in front of a wizard. Welcome to hell!
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Where would we be without the supercut. We’d find ourselves with not much to do but watch pr0n and, well, watch more pr0n. Not such a bad existence. But sometimes your eyes need a break, just like your wrist does, and that’s where the supercut comes in. This one involves people excusing themselves. Now, if you’ll excuse me…
Boxes are, like, totally dope yo. Arts and crafts is just the most pimpin’ shiz you ever do witnizz and this song pays dues to that most gangster of containers, the box. It’s about time too, we be using them for all sorts of storage since, like, 40 years or so. Maybe 45. “If you act the fool Ima’ unleash the Box Kitty. Meow.” – Respect homie!
All you social media gurus out there would do well to watch this video. Again. And again. Maybe take some notes too, because these guys totally owned when it came to sorting out an 8-year-old girl’s birthday party. They had a strategy, let hype build organically, and targeted the right people. Her friends. And then there was one final flourish, a moment of genius. A moment of history. Now make Steven Fry proud and dump those comments bro’!
Stephen Fry, the fat gay Twitter queen of the internet who’s actually a comic creation of PG Wodehouse, dribbles on about trolls and getting distressed by their trolling ways. Whatever Stephen, why don’t you take your iPad and shove it up your saggy buttock hole you jumped up piece of overstretched scrotum. Lolz.
So that was 2010. What will 2011 hold in store for Rémi, will he take a turn in French politics bringing about a fall in unemployment and uniting the disparate lower and middle classes? Fuck no, he’ll run around dressed as a chicken while stealing poultry from the local supermarket and throwing it into oncoming traffic.
Loosely following on with our Glee theme (Chris Colfer won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor in a TV series), prepare for an Englishman to tell Hollywood how it ‘really’ is in last night’s 68th Golden Globes award ceremony. Sparing no punches and probably killing any chance of future film work Mr. Gervais proved the perfect host for an over-inflated piece of Hollywood celebration and delivered some great put-down jokes at the expense of some of the celebrity elite. The look on De Niro’s face is classic.
“One fap to rule them all!”. If you need some sage-like advice on sexual matters, then Gandalf the Perv will help you out. Even hobbits get certain urges, it’s only natural (unlike their freaky hairy feet) and you can’t blame them, they’re surrounded by hawt chicks like Galadriel the royal Elf babe. However, you wouldn’t want to meet a randy orc (or Boromir) in the Forest of Fangorn on a dark night when the moon is full. Ouch.
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