Entries Tagged as 'animals'

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Piss Poor Movie Trailer

This is superb - the worst trailer for what must surely be the most execrable film with the stupidest title ever made: He Goat 2! Nope, it’s not a joke, it’s a drama about a guy who fucks his mother or some such and gets chased into the undergrowth by some guy (his dad?) wielding [...]

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Levitating Frog

When the Dutch start fucking around with science the results can be scary, as anyone who has ever smoked hydroponically-grown Skunk buds in Amsterdam can testify. So the lab frog who they picked to be levitated by magnetic fields must have been frankly terrified of being dashed to death by malfunctioning magnets. However, quite apart [...]

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Flying Friend

This is one pretty cool dog. Let’s assume that, like most mammals, it doesn’t understand the concept of g-force or zero gravity, and that it doesn’t really get what flying is all about. So next thing it knows its floating around in some tiny plane. How would you expect it to react? How would you [...]

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Dozy Moggy

Most people would look at this clip and say awwww, how cute. On the face of it, a kitten dozing off is very sweet. But as with most cuteness, an awful reality lurks, barely concealed, beneath the surface. This kitten is on the nod. If you have no idea what that means, go down to [...]

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Cat In Space

Some people would argue that the best place for all cats would be outer space. For a start, in outer space, no one can hear you screech annoyingly at 4 in the morning whilst on heat. Plus, if this is how stupid one cat looks in zero gravity, imagine how funny a few hundred thousand [...]

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Blockbuster

A pretty funky ad from one of the most annoying retail outlets in the world. For some reason, your brain short-circuits the minute you walk through the doors. Going into a Blockbuster and wandering around, unable to make any decisions, becoming increasingly imbecilised and panic-stricken, is akin to traveling the seventh circle of hell. Doing [...]

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Wolfman

Be warned - this file is a humungous 3.74Mg. However, it is worth a download if you like your ads weird and wonderful. This comes from a series of Playstation 2 ads, some of which were directed by David Lynch. This may be one of those - it’s certainly out there enough.
It’s not David Lynch [...]

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Volkswagen Frog

Whether or not comparing your car to an insect is strictly a good idea in marketing terms, this is a pretty kick ass ad. And it’s particularly relevant today because the frogs are all on strike.

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Vaquinha

When you live in the city you know instinctively that city dwellers are superior in every way to country folk, but you forget exactly way. Sure, on the odd occasion you come into contact with them you remember that they are either clumsy and dim-witted or sly and grasping, but you never really know quite [...]

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Stinky Feet

This ad is purportedly from Thailand, despite the thing it’s advertising sounding german, and neither of the characters looking remotely Asian. The [...]

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Squirrel

An ad for PSP. As no one seems to know where it’s from, and it’s never been on TV, let’s make something up:
An ad for PSP, possibly the coolest [...]

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Sparky

Until next Thursday I’m not writing any little comments, or responding to any e-mails as I’m stressed to f***.
Thanks for your understanding if you have any. Git fakt [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Shark

A very funny ad, the premise of which is that John West employees have to go steal tuna from sharks in order to pack it into cans. I then buy the cans from supermarkets as convenient food for a diving trip. I put it in a plastic bag, nailed to a tree, a sensible distance [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Shark Play Ball

This ad is ridiculously and dangerously irresponsible in that it could lead to terrible ‘copycat’ accidents. If a kid saw this he might try to play fetch with a great white shark and the consequences could be disasterous. There isn’t even a ‘Don’t try this at home’ disclaimer on it. This ad should be banned.

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Shark

This ad for the yellow pages is obviously popular - I’ve been sent it numerous times. I have to say, if I were the guy in this ad, instead of trying to hold the glass together and phone yellow pages for help, I’d phone for a boat and a harpoon and wait for the damn [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Scrubber

Wherein a hedgehog discovers the hedgehog equivalent of a blow-up doll. This hedgehog is obviously far less stupid than most hedgehogs. Whereas most hedgehogs just get run over by trucks, this hedgehog has got itself a well paid lead in an ad. But more importantly it has figured out something that we humans for the [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Salmon - John West Ad

A very funny ad, the premise of which is that John West employees have to go steal salmon from grizzly bears in order to pack it into cans. I then buy the cans from supermarkets as convenient food for a camping trip. I put it in a plastic bag, nailed to a tree, a sensible [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

rolo elephant

Rolo ads are generally pretty funny, and this one is no exception. The moral is that elephants have wicked long memories so if you mess with one, you is gonna get yours one of these days.

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Rats

An ad for PSP, possibly the coolest electro-gizmo product on the market at the moment, certainly a lot cooler than the fucking i-Pod, featuring rats, and actually made by rats, for rats. Research has shown that rats are now actually watching TV, and consuming electronic goods. Mainly i-Pods (rats are notoriously stupid and pompous), which [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Rat Dog

It’s about time we had a good cruelty to animals ad - it has been too long. The product being advertised is dog food which makes cruelty to small dogs a questionable avenue to go down, but maybe that’s the point: feed your dog this chow and it won’t be small and crappy…

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Punchbaby

How gratifying. Someone has gone to the trouble of making an ad for this site. And it’s good. Annoyingly I deleted his (her?) email before watching it and therefore didn’t say thanks. So, dude (ess?), if you’re reading this: nice job. Thanks. Peace. Vote Homer for prez.

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Ikea Pig Farmer Commercial

An ad which surely could only have been conceived of by Swedes. Although its intentions are humourous, it makes for slightly uncomfortable viewing, and it’s not just because of the sight of middle agers engaging in porcine foreplay. It taps in to the infinite well of angst caused by walking in on one’s parents having [...]

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Panda

Nothing pisses off animal rights nutters worse than clever men in white coats performing messing around with animal genetics in a cool shiny white high tech James Bond set lab somewhere near Cambridge. They get so angry their stupid dreadlocks vibrate and their crappy noserings fall out. So imagine how they’ll react when they see [...]

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Nokia

A corker from the lovely Nokia advertising possibly the coolest new product since the Walkman - a phone that captures and sends video. Of course it won’t work properly for the next 2 years but when it does there will be a shitload of very embarrassing videos kicking around the ether.

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

molson score

Just because a gag is contrived, tired, predictable, obvious and crass doesn’t mean it isn’t funny, big, clever and worth emailing to all your mates. In fact, all the best Internet gags fit those criteria almost exactly, and by Lord, we love ‘em.

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Molsen beaver

Another great ad from the sunny and culturally effervescent hipster hangout that is Canada. A real ad or a test ad? If anyone in Canada has email and knows how to use it (calm down, calm down for christ’s sake, it’s just a joke) maybe they can elucidate as to whether this gem has actually [...]

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Medical

A Mazda ad which explains one way to deal with recalcitrant kids who won’t stop screaming in the back of your car. Contemptible right on politically correct sandal wearing hippies may complain that this demonstrates cruelty to animals …uh kids… but really the issue here is the solution’s complete lack of credibility. Doing this to [...]

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Lynx Rituals

Lynx produces some good ads, and this one is no exception. It’s also the strangest yet. It’s comforting to know that whatever disgusting physical defects you may have, however poor your standards of hygiene and where ever you may happen to be, you can always spray on some cheap deodorant and get laid by a [...]

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Lassie

Nothing is more nauseating than animals who come to the rescue of humans in cheesy TV films. It reflects a view of the world that wants everything to be nice and lovely and all God’s creatures to be sweet spirited and generous of heart. Which is thankfully complete crap. If we didn’t give dogs food [...]

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Kid Wash

And whilst we’re on the subject of kids, how come they’re programmed to destroy everything in sight? For all those people out there bored enough to even be considering procreating, this excellent ad tells you everything you need to know. It’s all here.