There was a time when skaters were heroes, when ultimate skate legend Rune Glifberg and burn units Jonas Skrøder, Dany Hamard and Hugo Maillard roll through the mean streets of Buenos Aires, laying waste to the nasty elements they find there. Anarchy and its buddy chaos rein on the sprawling cityscape, but a little thing like the collapse of civilisation isn’t going to stop these guys.
Over at Vans this is how they do their European vacationing. Forget the Griswalds, they gather the whole crew together and head on over to La France with the whole family to BMX the fuck out of the country. And if you wanna join them, the by Zeus’ beard, do so.
Well, I don’t know about you but it’s adverts like this that can convince me to buy absolutely anything. They could be selling garbage bags dusted with dried pig shit and I’d be down the store ordering twenty of them before you could say the word gullible’s been removed from the English language.
There’s nowt so entertaining as the mindless slaughter of children. At least, there isn’t according to this Troma film “Beware: Children at Play”. A blood-curdling cry sets the tone nicely and then where off as children get mowed down and shot in the face at point blank range. They just don’t make them like this anymore. Shame.
“You wanna piece of me!?” NEVER be fooled by an invitation like this. What do you do when confronted with an army of plastic sword-wielding ninjas? For a start you don’t laugh and think that just because they have plastic swords you can take ‘em. These are ninjas, so the best thing you could do is get on the hotline to Chuck Norris or fall into the foetal position and cry.
If you’re a fan of the TV show Dexter, then you’ll be a fan of the opening credits, the exotic music comes in and we see Dexter go through his morning routine all with hints at his serial killing secret life. How very clever. Well, here’s a neat cover of the theme music. Enjoy.
Remember, appearances can be deceiving. This guy looks pretty normal from just staring at him at the beginning. The nose piercing is a bit of a hint though, and then once the make up starts to come off his real self is revealed. He is a man covered in tattoos. And he will be judged for that.
A group of teenagers break in to a swimming pool for some night-swimming and fun times but then… it all takes a turn for the weird. It’s time like this that you wish an angry, bearded Kurt Russell would turn up with a flamethrower and start laying waste. But he’s too busy being angry about prequels to show up here. Anime-kinda-tastic.
Words vs bullets – who’s going to win? Well when they’re flying out of two guys’ mouths then probably the words, at least according to this world-wide appeal for ‘International alert’. These two might want to take a closer look at their diet, whatever it is they’re eating is causing some strange symptoms. Thank god it wasn’t two women, it would have been Armageddon…
The beautiful poignancy that can be elicited from putting a zombie in a penguin suit and playing some string music over the top. Instead of this flesh-eating undead maniac installing fear or mockery in us, we feel sorry for his dumb ass. Because, if he’s in a penguin suit he must’ve had some lame-ass job before he was turned into the waddling dead.
You could do worse in life then learning all 170 of these and quoting them in context when the chances arise. It’ll enrich your life, it’ll enrich anyone’s life who’s within listening distance. Because he may’ve had a diverse career that stretched from Westerns to cop thrillers and back to Westerns, but he always remained Clint.
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