If you had 8 hours in Brooklyn, what would you do? Would you jump around in some water with your top off? Roll around on the dirty floor of a derelict bus? Play some basketball? Skate? Get a tattoo? Fuck about with a fire hydrant? No? Well these guys did. And then some guy shot it on a camera. Crazy times.
Waves, huh? When they’re not coming down on you at terrifying speeds, drowning you with their immense nature power, they can be pretty cool. Mostly from a vantage point of being sat at home watching the majestic beauty of the ones at surf paradise Teahupoo shot on a Phantom HD camera. Then you can really appreciate their awesomeness. Waves. Fuck yeah.
Seen Rise of the Apes yet? It’s pretty good. You’ve not seen an epic ape onslaught unless you’ve seen a chimpanzee leading the charge of a large group of angry apes bearing down on the local constabulary on Golden Gate Bridge. And just to prove that it could all happen, should we find a cure for Alzheimer’s that accelerates apes’ evolution, then chimps playing Playstation will be remembered as the start of it all.
The slow, stumbling dragging of the feet along the floor. It can only be two things, really drunk people whose shoes have seen better days or ZOMBIES!!!! And although zombies are known for their love of devouring the flesh of the living, they also like going for days out like the rest of us. You know, to the beach and stuff.
Well, this is all a bit weird. But at least it has a group of women jiggling their asses about in a field dressed as sheep. When you have a scene like that in your short movie, then it doesn’t really matter that the film is about bestiality, because it has some hot-looking ladies in it. So, yeah, thanks Smokey!
If you thought two pieces of fabric couldn’t be entertaining, then think again! After watching these two sheets fly about in a vortex, you’ll never get totally pissed off when making the bed ever again. When you’re caught in a flurry of cotton sheets not knowing what way’s up or down, just pretend your doing a majestic dance in unison with your linen. Or something.
The internet loves this guy, but outside of its cyberwalls no one’s heard of him. He’s one of those rapper type chaps who walks around with his synthesizer like a travelling nomad, playing his music wherever he lays his hat, laying down rhythms for passersby. He should defo go on the X-Factor. In fact, he should be a god.
You’ve got to love fan films, refreshing the parts of fanboys and girls that film companies are just to afraid too reach. And you can most certainly fap to this, if you’re a fan of the Portal game series. It has a well worn opening of someone (a woman) waking up in a room alone, but then it just gets better. And better. AND BETTER!
Christ. Somebody’d better help that poor fat child. Not only is he probably on a diet of deep fried transfats, but he’s obviously getting neglected so his chubster of a mom and her twin of a mate can dance about and get themselves some YouTube love. Or hate. Plus he’s going to grow up thinking underwear should be worn on the outside of your clothes. But that’s only if you’re Superman.
Everyone loves cereal, even the people that don’t get chonged all the time. But no one likes eating cereal when it gets interrupted by cereal stealing mofos, taking all that lovely fresh stock your ma just bought down the cereal shop. But! Stealing cereal isn’t as easy as all that, because when you’re dealing with the tasty deliciousness of processed grains, everyone wants a spoonful.
It’s great being in a relationship, because instead of sitting at home on your own trawling the internet, you get to argue with someone whenever they want. Think of it as mental sparring, kind of like a Socratic dialogue but where every other spoken word is full of venom and vitriol, and each argument isn’t about philosophical problems, but rather who’s going to do the washing up. As for making a sammich, lets not go there right now.
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