You’ve seen Moneyball, now prepare yourself for Moneyball 2 which has the New York Yankees instead of The Oakland A’s in a reversal of the original movie where ludicrous amounts of dollar are spent on their payroll each year and how that might miraculously lead to World Series titles. LOL!
It’s a movie about a children’s toy from the 1980’s starring a former professional wrestler. What’s not to love? Sure the storyline will probably stink up theaters across the globe something fierce, but if you’re there for the storyline you deserve everything you get. Come on, admit it, secretly you can’t wait for ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ to come out. Just you, a bag of popcorn, the twin baldness of Bruce Willis and The Rock — it’s the guiltiest pleasure there is and you know you’re going to be down the cinema with the biggest, loudest screen there is so you can lose yourself in the mindless nonsense.
It’s some pretty good advice for a kid, if someone offers you some candy and a ride in the back of their van, or maybe some nice, fresh crack cocaine and it all looks and sounds very VERY tempting, turn it down and just say NO! Thats right, no matter how much you want your life to spiral into an child-molesting, addiction-soaked nightmare, refuse this evil temptation. But roller skating on the other hand, now there’s an addiction. Or crystal meth. Or World of Warcraft! But you can always do that later.
Next time you’re on the subway and there’s an old man who wants a seat but no one’s offering, then maybe you should step up and do the decent thing. Because if you don’t, you never know what chain of events could transpire. Either that or remember to bring a sword.
Don’t panic, but physicist Michio Kaku ponders the idea of the wandering, invisible black hole that could turn up out of nowhere and consume us for breakfast and it wouldn’t even burp in the process. Nothing to worry about then, just a ravished ball of nothingness that could come from nowhere and eat everything we know and love.
Anyone can mow a lawn, but not everyone can mow a lawn fuck-bombed out of their skull on angel dust. But, while dangerous, it can also turn what might be an uneventful chore into a wild ride on the rollercoaster of debauchery. And it’ll probably end in you being chased naked around the neighbourhood by the local law enforcement. Good times!
Ah Facebook, that double-edged sword — we all need it, look at it, but also hate it. From whence did this love/hate relationship come from and WTF is wrong with everyone of your friends getting pissed all day and night, creating profile pictures that seem like they have had major plastic surgery, or having dumb babies and posting the pics to social media as though they want some kind of validation. Give. A. Toss.
If you thought Ryan Gosling was ten different types of intense in “Drive”, then forget about it. That’s peanuts, it looks like a day in Disney World compared to this epic story that tells of one man trying to navigate the murky underworld of fast food drive-thrus. A real human being, and a real hero, a real Big Mac.
If you thought that the inner cities where a war zone full of rioting criminals and disenfranchised yoofs, then my lordy lordster, you haven’t seen nothing yet. Forget Ill Manors, it never got illing enough for me. This is where the real struggle is — what to do with all daddy’s money. What peasant’s ugly face to wipe your shit-stained shoes on. Plus so many episodes of “Made in Chelsea” to catch up with on Sky+!
A song about Britain’s much maligned but growing underclass from Plan B. Ben Drew has a voice smoother than an angel’s backside, dipped in honey, but for this outing he dons a hoodie and cries out about social alienation, It’s quite possibly the new anthem for England’s underclass & the first great mainstream protest song in years. Hard to believe that such a political statement with socioeconomic commentary came from the man that brought us this abject fucking nonsense…
Here’s dedication to the cause, as neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor was having a massive stroke one morning, she grabbed the opportunity to study it like no scientist has done before. As her brain functions ebbed away one by one — speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. That’s bravery for you.
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