There is way too much old useless shit on our planet, so anyone who can turn that old useless shit into a moving fire breathing mutoid dog motorbike should be more famous than some idiot who can play the guitar and write a decent tune. One day everything will look like this.

Here is the YouTube equivalent of Alka Seltzer. It’s the week before Christmas, so most of you probably went out and got hammered, and are now sitting in front of your computers in your nasty little offices hating the day and praying for it to end quickly. Well this is for you.

Heh.

If the Internet ever runs out of morons who are willing to self destruct because they’re a bored witless from living out in the sticks, then it will be a terrible day for all of us far superior people who know how to read and wipe our assholes and shit.

So you think Parkour was invented in Paris sometime in the 70s or 80s. Well that’s cos you’re a know nothing dipshit. These muthafuckas were doing it in NYC before it even had a name.

This is what happens to your food when you’re not looking. The guy was probably too stoned to notice that his pizza had an interesting new topping: dog shit and tramp piss topping. He was probably also too stoned to notice that he spent the following 24 hours shitting and puking in his bed.

Yet still, I now want pizza for lunch so bad I can’t breathe.

Fucking funny. Here’s a fabulous TV out-take that is so perfect, you almost have to wonder whether it isn’t a set up. Interesting that the presenter’s immediate reaction to a near death experience is to demand sex. He’s probably one of those freaks who crash cars before blow jobs.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. What a terrible fucking eedjit.

OK, so this didn’t really happen, it’s a viral video for some stupidly over-sized yank SUV e <!– /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:”"; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} –> xercise in pointlessness. But it’s still pretty good, and even though you know it didn’t really happen it’s great to watch, especially the officious little cunt in his day-glo orange suit being made a cunt out of.

Oh fuck! This is the single coolest thing I have ever seen. I want one so bad it hurts. A fucking flying, hovering death robot that rains down fire and damnation on all your enemies. Could anything be more beautiful?